One of Hatchet's taglines is, "It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's not based on a Japanese one." While this is technically
true, it's not really anything new either, as writer/director Adam
Green does his best to make this feel like another '80s slasher.
After
the opening, in which a fishing trip turns deadly for a father and son
(Robert Englund and Joshua Leonard in the first of many cameos by horror
film vets), the action shifts to the streets of New Orleans, where
Mardi Gras festivities are in full swing. Ben (Joel David Moore),
despondent over a recent breakup, is tired of drinking and looking at
boobs. His friend Marcus (Deon Richmond) reluctantly joins him for a
haunted swamp tour. Unfortunately, the boat sinks, leaving the tour
group to discover that there is some truth to one of the local legends
when they come face-to-face with deformed backwoods madman Victor
Crowley (Kane Hodder).
Crowley is not a particularly unique
villain, a mix between Cropsy and Jason Voorhees. There are no chase
sequences here; Crowley appears out of nowhere, howls loudly, and begins
slaughtering people in gruesome ways. This is one area the film doesn't
skimp on, as heads are ripped in half and twisted off and limbs are
torn off and tossed around. The victims are shown no mercy, as Crowley
goes for the overkill every time. Not content with simply taking a belt
sander to a woman's face, Crowley then impales her. After ripping off
one guy's arms, he grabs his body and slams it against a tombstone.
Refreshingly, the effects are traditional prosthetics and buckets of
fake blood rather than CGI.
It's worth mentioning that the group
doesn't actually encounter Crowley until more than halfway through the
film's short 84-minute runtime. Rather than playing it straight and
using this time to build suspense, Green injects a lot of humor into the
script. Some of it works (Tony Todd's "chilling" story of why he no
longer does haunted swamp tours at night), but most of it doesn't. The
dialogue spewed by the two Girls Gone Wild-esque aspiring actresses is
the worst. One doesn't realize that the cops and the police are one and
the same and wonders whether 911 is the correct number to dial to reach
them. They also trade insults such as "Brush your teeth much?" and
"Your nipples are dumb." Making the dialogue intentionally stupid
doesn't make it funny. Equally bad are those occasions where the
characters take time to explain an already unfunny joke rather than
letting us try to forget it. At one point, Marcus calls the Asian tour
guide "Jackie Tucker," then goes on to clarify, "Jackie Chan, Chris
Tucker."
However, Richmond is pretty funny as Marcus, and he
hits more than he misses. I got a kick out of the scene where he asks
Ben to spot him some money for the swamp tour. Ben asks, "Why, you
don't have any cash?" Marcus drops the pretense of looking in his
pockets and replies, "No, I'm just not paying for this bullshit."
Parry Shen is also hilarious as the faux-Cajun-accented guide who
clearly has no idea what he's doing. Tamara Feldman is the weakest
link, a shame because it soon becomes clear that her character is the
heroine.
In the end, Hatchet is an odd one,
attempting to be both a throwback to the slashers of the '80s and a
self-referential parody, but not excelling at either.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Going to Pieces
Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film is a
2006 documentary adaptation of the book of the same name. Through a
combination of narration, interviews, and film clips, the documentary
takes a look at the slasher sub-genre that was so popular in the '80s.
The list of interviewees is impressive, with all of the big names in the genre - John Carpenter (Halloween), Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), and Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th) - represented. Also on board are Herb Freed (Graduation Day), Amy Holden Jones (Slumber Party Massacre), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), and John Dunning (My Bloody Valentine). It's refreshing to see some attention given to slashers not featuring Michael, Jason, and Freddy, especially because the supplements to these films are usually lacking or nonexistent.
Among the most interesting segments is a look at the controversy surrounding the Christmas slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night, which created an uproar thanks to its ads emphasizing a killer dressed as Santa Claus. Protestors succeeded in getting not only the ads pulled, but the film itself. Other films up for discussion include The Burning, April Fool's Day, Happy Birthday to Me, The Boogey Man, and The Prowler, which makeup/effects maestro Tom Savini considers his best work. Countless films aren't discussed in any depth, but featured in clips. These include Alice Sweet Alice, Terror Train, Student Bodies, and The House on Sorority Row.
Going to Pieces is mainly concerned with Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th, which makes sense, as they are heavy hitters within the genre. Unfortunately, that means that fans will have heard most of this material elsewhere. Nor is this documentary really good for new fans of the genre, as the endings to many, many films are spoiled. These include some of the bigger names, but also many of the lesser-known slashers in which the twist ending was a highlight of the experience. For some reason, the documentary doesn't identify which films the clips are from, which makes it difficult for viewers who might want to track down potentially interesting slashers.
Some potentially meaty material such as the criticism of the sub-genre is glossed over, while highly influential films are not given their due. Peeping Tom and Psycho are briefly mentioned, while an interview with Black Christmas director Bob Clark has been relegated to the DVD bonus features. (These extra interviews are certainly worth checking out, as they also include informative sessions with Psycho screenwriter Joseph Stefano and My Bloody Valentine producer Dunning, among others.) However, there's plenty of time to discuss Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, along with Saw and Hostel, not necessarily films that come to mind when one hears the word "slasher."
Though it's flawed, the documentary is well-presented, and it's obvious that those involved truly love slasher films. Perhaps Going to Pieces is best for lovers of the subgenre who wish to have their appetites whet for revisiting some favorites.
The list of interviewees is impressive, with all of the big names in the genre - John Carpenter (Halloween), Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), and Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th) - represented. Also on board are Herb Freed (Graduation Day), Amy Holden Jones (Slumber Party Massacre), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), and John Dunning (My Bloody Valentine). It's refreshing to see some attention given to slashers not featuring Michael, Jason, and Freddy, especially because the supplements to these films are usually lacking or nonexistent.
Among the most interesting segments is a look at the controversy surrounding the Christmas slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night, which created an uproar thanks to its ads emphasizing a killer dressed as Santa Claus. Protestors succeeded in getting not only the ads pulled, but the film itself. Other films up for discussion include The Burning, April Fool's Day, Happy Birthday to Me, The Boogey Man, and The Prowler, which makeup/effects maestro Tom Savini considers his best work. Countless films aren't discussed in any depth, but featured in clips. These include Alice Sweet Alice, Terror Train, Student Bodies, and The House on Sorority Row.
Going to Pieces is mainly concerned with Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th, which makes sense, as they are heavy hitters within the genre. Unfortunately, that means that fans will have heard most of this material elsewhere. Nor is this documentary really good for new fans of the genre, as the endings to many, many films are spoiled. These include some of the bigger names, but also many of the lesser-known slashers in which the twist ending was a highlight of the experience. For some reason, the documentary doesn't identify which films the clips are from, which makes it difficult for viewers who might want to track down potentially interesting slashers.
Some potentially meaty material such as the criticism of the sub-genre is glossed over, while highly influential films are not given their due. Peeping Tom and Psycho are briefly mentioned, while an interview with Black Christmas director Bob Clark has been relegated to the DVD bonus features. (These extra interviews are certainly worth checking out, as they also include informative sessions with Psycho screenwriter Joseph Stefano and My Bloody Valentine producer Dunning, among others.) However, there's plenty of time to discuss Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, along with Saw and Hostel, not necessarily films that come to mind when one hears the word "slasher."
Though it's flawed, the documentary is well-presented, and it's obvious that those involved truly love slasher films. Perhaps Going to Pieces is best for lovers of the subgenre who wish to have their appetites whet for revisiting some favorites.
Monday, March 10, 2014
The Final
2010's The Final was released as part of the After Dark
Horrorfest, which, each year, presents audiences with the chance to see
eight films which never made it to theaters. The entries I've seen have
been for the most part mediocre or just plain awful, so I usually steer
clear of the series. However, I came across The Final on Netflix and gave it a chance, and I have to say it's easily one of the better After Dark films.
Whereas most of the Horrorfest films probably couldn't find distribution because they suck, the issue here is most likely the subject matter. A group of high school outcasts, sick of being bullied by the popular kids, decide to get revenge on their tormenters by drugging them, torturing them, and teaching them a lesson they'll never forget. As ringleader Dane (Marc Donato) says, "Think of this as the final, and there's only one question: What did I do to deserve this?"
It's a disturbing premise, one which writer Jason Kabolati and director Joey Stewart wisely treat with seriousness. It's easy to sympathize with the outcasts early on, especially in one particularly effective scene where Emily (Lindsay Seidel) quietly tells the mean girls that she thinks they would really like her if they just gave her a chance. However, once they put their plan into action, it's impossible to condone their actions, nor do I think the filmmakers want us to. Even after one of the bullies has obviously learned her lesson, the outcasts continue to torture her, and they even turn against each other, with Dane killing one of his supposed friends for deviating from the plan. They become even worse than those against whom they're seeking revenge.
The torture scenes are grim and effective, even though they're not especially graphic. We don't actually need to see the knife severing one character's spinal cord to be affected by it. The film is technically well-made, with interesting camera angles and lighting work helping to mask the film's low budget.
However, Donato's performance as the lead outcast is painfully over-the-top and threatens to pull the viewer out of the film. In fact, during one of his preachy, interminable monologues, I actually fell asleep and had to rewind the film once I awoke. Many of the characters are little more than stereotypes, so the actors don't have much to work with. Seidel is the standout here, managing to be both sympathetic and chillingly sadistic. His performance was a bit uneven, but I did like Jascha Washington as Kurtis, one of the popular kids who is probably the most decent person in the film.
There are also some odd scenes which I hope were included to convey just how insane the outcasts were. One involves the crew asking God to show that he approves of their plan by not taking any action to tell them otherwise. Unless these scenes were intended to illustrate insanity, they were really misguided. It's definitely a flawed film, but The Final is well-made, unsettling, and surprisingly worth watching.
Whereas most of the Horrorfest films probably couldn't find distribution because they suck, the issue here is most likely the subject matter. A group of high school outcasts, sick of being bullied by the popular kids, decide to get revenge on their tormenters by drugging them, torturing them, and teaching them a lesson they'll never forget. As ringleader Dane (Marc Donato) says, "Think of this as the final, and there's only one question: What did I do to deserve this?"
It's a disturbing premise, one which writer Jason Kabolati and director Joey Stewart wisely treat with seriousness. It's easy to sympathize with the outcasts early on, especially in one particularly effective scene where Emily (Lindsay Seidel) quietly tells the mean girls that she thinks they would really like her if they just gave her a chance. However, once they put their plan into action, it's impossible to condone their actions, nor do I think the filmmakers want us to. Even after one of the bullies has obviously learned her lesson, the outcasts continue to torture her, and they even turn against each other, with Dane killing one of his supposed friends for deviating from the plan. They become even worse than those against whom they're seeking revenge.
The torture scenes are grim and effective, even though they're not especially graphic. We don't actually need to see the knife severing one character's spinal cord to be affected by it. The film is technically well-made, with interesting camera angles and lighting work helping to mask the film's low budget.
However, Donato's performance as the lead outcast is painfully over-the-top and threatens to pull the viewer out of the film. In fact, during one of his preachy, interminable monologues, I actually fell asleep and had to rewind the film once I awoke. Many of the characters are little more than stereotypes, so the actors don't have much to work with. Seidel is the standout here, managing to be both sympathetic and chillingly sadistic. His performance was a bit uneven, but I did like Jascha Washington as Kurtis, one of the popular kids who is probably the most decent person in the film.
There are also some odd scenes which I hope were included to convey just how insane the outcasts were. One involves the crew asking God to show that he approves of their plan by not taking any action to tell them otherwise. Unless these scenes were intended to illustrate insanity, they were really misguided. It's definitely a flawed film, but The Final is well-made, unsettling, and surprisingly worth watching.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5
When Silent Night, Deadly Night was released in 1984, Mickey
Rooney was one of the film's most vocal critics, writing a letter of
protest in which he called the makers "scum" for desecrating Christmas.
Ironically enough, seven years later, Rooney went on to star in the
franchise's fifth entry, The Toy Maker.
Rooney is Joe Petto, who owns a rather unsuccessful toy store. He and his son Pino (Brian Bremer) also live in the shop since their house was foreclosed on. The house is currently occupied by Sarah (Jane Higginson) and her son Derek (William Thorne), which may or may not explain why Pino decides to break in and hide in Sarah's bedroom. As if that weren't enough to deal with, the two are trying to cope with the loss of man of the house Tom, seen in the film's opening being attacked by a Santa toy that showed up addressed to Derek. Pino also tries to give Derek a Larry the Larva toy, but it is instead bought by Petto's most frequent customer Noah (Tracy Fraim), who winds up giving it to his landlord, advising him, "It's to die for."
So the film continues, with mysterious presents being left for Derek, the kid refusing to open them, someone else getting hold of them, and killer toy mayhem ensuing. The film is poorly paced, and it gets very tedious very quickly. The effects by Screaming Mad George are surprisingly disappointing, consisting of crap like a rubber snake, roller skates with rockets, or a Santa ball that sprouts little arms. Most of the toys don't actually kill anyone; instead, people just overreact to them and flail around until they're impaled by fire pokers or hit by cars. More than one character returns from the dead, as well. A chick is shot by an army of toy soldiers with guns, leaving her a bloody mess, but she shows up alive and well later on.
It all seems like just another bad horror movie with nothing to make it stand out - aside from some truly insane moments, like a bizarre ending involving attempted rape by a robot that lacks genitalia and cries while screaming, "I love you, Mommy!" And we get the chance to see Mickey Rooney in a Santa suit holding his sack (of toys) while watching two teenagers screwing. It doesn't get much better than this.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 is obviously not scary, and it's too boring to be much fun. However, those who do decide to watch it will be left with some indelible images.
Rooney is Joe Petto, who owns a rather unsuccessful toy store. He and his son Pino (Brian Bremer) also live in the shop since their house was foreclosed on. The house is currently occupied by Sarah (Jane Higginson) and her son Derek (William Thorne), which may or may not explain why Pino decides to break in and hide in Sarah's bedroom. As if that weren't enough to deal with, the two are trying to cope with the loss of man of the house Tom, seen in the film's opening being attacked by a Santa toy that showed up addressed to Derek. Pino also tries to give Derek a Larry the Larva toy, but it is instead bought by Petto's most frequent customer Noah (Tracy Fraim), who winds up giving it to his landlord, advising him, "It's to die for."
So the film continues, with mysterious presents being left for Derek, the kid refusing to open them, someone else getting hold of them, and killer toy mayhem ensuing. The film is poorly paced, and it gets very tedious very quickly. The effects by Screaming Mad George are surprisingly disappointing, consisting of crap like a rubber snake, roller skates with rockets, or a Santa ball that sprouts little arms. Most of the toys don't actually kill anyone; instead, people just overreact to them and flail around until they're impaled by fire pokers or hit by cars. More than one character returns from the dead, as well. A chick is shot by an army of toy soldiers with guns, leaving her a bloody mess, but she shows up alive and well later on.
It all seems like just another bad horror movie with nothing to make it stand out - aside from some truly insane moments, like a bizarre ending involving attempted rape by a robot that lacks genitalia and cries while screaming, "I love you, Mommy!" And we get the chance to see Mickey Rooney in a Santa suit holding his sack (of toys) while watching two teenagers screwing. It doesn't get much better than this.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 is obviously not scary, and it's too boring to be much fun. However, those who do decide to watch it will be left with some indelible images.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Slaughter High
Slaughter High was released as part of
LionsGate's Lost Collection, boasting the dubious subtitle, "the best
movies you totally forgot about." Odds are, most people have never seen
this one, but somehow Slaughter High gained itself a nice
little cult following over the years, and someone borrowed a fan's old
VHS copy, transferred it to DVD, and released it to the masses.
Slaughter High was released during the slasher frenzy of the 1980's, and it has all the ingredients for a cheesy, low-budget slasher. There's a token black character who's the first to die, actors who are far too old to be playing high school students (I think the youngest was 29), gratuitous nudity, a masked killer, a high school prank gone awry, and an insane amount of plot holes (including a mind-boggling twist-within-a-twist ending).
It's April Fool's Day, and nerd Marty (Simon Scuddamore) is about to get it on with the sexy, popular Carol (Caroline Munro). Of course, it turns out this is nothing more than a setup for the cool "kids" to get Marty naked, hose him down, dunk his nude body in the toilet, and capture the events on film, until the coach shows up to drag the bullies off to detention in the school gym. Unfortunately, the gang plays one final prank on Marty, one which culminates in Marty being splashed with nitric acid and horribly burned.
Now, it's some time later (the film never says how much later, but the trailer reveals it's five years, though the actors look the same age they did in high school: OLD). They've been invited to their high school reunion. Never mind the fact that the only attendees are those who bullied Marty. And the fact that the school's locked, run-down, and abandoned doesn't raise any red flags. The group, after sitting for hours on the grass outside the building, decides to break into the school, where they start getting picked off one by one by a killer in a jester costume.
Has Marty returned to seek payback? Or is someone else to blame? Is it all an April Fool's Day prank? How is the killer able to predict when and where his intended victim will be, and stage elaborate traps for them? When more than one victim is in more than one designated death area, how does the killer manage to be in both places at the same time?
Most, if not all, of these questions will remain unanswered. Slaughter High is definitely a leave-your-brain-at-the-door kind of experience. Plot holes and inconsistencies abound, with even the setting being questionable. What high school includes lounge areas, bathtubs, garages, and beds, yet has no lockers or classrooms? The acting is always bad, sometimes hilariously so. Perhaps some of the actors were speaking so slowly and awkwardly in an attempt to hide their British accents, which crept through more often than not. I don't think he was trying to hide an accent, but the best moment is provided by one guy who falls off his bike (a gleefully awful bit of acting there, as the actor throws himself to the ground), then delivers the line, "Man, that. bike. has. to. go.", with slow, deliberate pauses between each word, as if he has no idea what word will come out of his mouth next. It's that bad.
One good thing I can say is the death scenes are actually reasonably memorable. The low-budget effects include a gut-busting explosion, a mid-coitus electrocution, and some other cool stuff I don't want to spoil. Unfortunately, the film's low budget is also apparent in its DVD transfer. I wasn't kidding when I said it looks like someone copied it from a VHS. The audio quality suffers as well; I watched it with the subtitles (surprisingly, there are English or Spanish subtitles, a rarity when it comes to low-budget slasher DVDs). It's not a huge deal, though; Slaughter High is not one you're going to want to watch on your wall-size HDTV anyway.
I simply must mention the soundtrack. The score was done by Harry Manfredini, so there's a nod to Friday the 13th, complete with the distinctive "Ki-ki-ha-ha" sound. I don't know if Manfredini was responsible for the theme song of sorts, a hair-metal/synth-pop hybrid with some nut cackling madly and screaming, "April Fool's Day!", but, if so, I must thank him for the hearty laugh I got out of that one. Even better, it begins and ends the movie, in addition to playing at different points throughout.
Slaughter High is an absolute mess, but it's so bad it's almost good. Those who are entertained by bad movies should definitely get a kick out of it. I enjoyed it because of (not in spite of) its flaws. Die-hard (and I mean die-hard) slasher fans could certainly do worse than this one. It's hard to call Slaughter High "the best" anything, but, to a certain audience, it's entertaining in its ineptness.
Slaughter High was released during the slasher frenzy of the 1980's, and it has all the ingredients for a cheesy, low-budget slasher. There's a token black character who's the first to die, actors who are far too old to be playing high school students (I think the youngest was 29), gratuitous nudity, a masked killer, a high school prank gone awry, and an insane amount of plot holes (including a mind-boggling twist-within-a-twist ending).
It's April Fool's Day, and nerd Marty (Simon Scuddamore) is about to get it on with the sexy, popular Carol (Caroline Munro). Of course, it turns out this is nothing more than a setup for the cool "kids" to get Marty naked, hose him down, dunk his nude body in the toilet, and capture the events on film, until the coach shows up to drag the bullies off to detention in the school gym. Unfortunately, the gang plays one final prank on Marty, one which culminates in Marty being splashed with nitric acid and horribly burned.
Now, it's some time later (the film never says how much later, but the trailer reveals it's five years, though the actors look the same age they did in high school: OLD). They've been invited to their high school reunion. Never mind the fact that the only attendees are those who bullied Marty. And the fact that the school's locked, run-down, and abandoned doesn't raise any red flags. The group, after sitting for hours on the grass outside the building, decides to break into the school, where they start getting picked off one by one by a killer in a jester costume.
Has Marty returned to seek payback? Or is someone else to blame? Is it all an April Fool's Day prank? How is the killer able to predict when and where his intended victim will be, and stage elaborate traps for them? When more than one victim is in more than one designated death area, how does the killer manage to be in both places at the same time?
Most, if not all, of these questions will remain unanswered. Slaughter High is definitely a leave-your-brain-at-the-door kind of experience. Plot holes and inconsistencies abound, with even the setting being questionable. What high school includes lounge areas, bathtubs, garages, and beds, yet has no lockers or classrooms? The acting is always bad, sometimes hilariously so. Perhaps some of the actors were speaking so slowly and awkwardly in an attempt to hide their British accents, which crept through more often than not. I don't think he was trying to hide an accent, but the best moment is provided by one guy who falls off his bike (a gleefully awful bit of acting there, as the actor throws himself to the ground), then delivers the line, "Man, that. bike. has. to. go.", with slow, deliberate pauses between each word, as if he has no idea what word will come out of his mouth next. It's that bad.
One good thing I can say is the death scenes are actually reasonably memorable. The low-budget effects include a gut-busting explosion, a mid-coitus electrocution, and some other cool stuff I don't want to spoil. Unfortunately, the film's low budget is also apparent in its DVD transfer. I wasn't kidding when I said it looks like someone copied it from a VHS. The audio quality suffers as well; I watched it with the subtitles (surprisingly, there are English or Spanish subtitles, a rarity when it comes to low-budget slasher DVDs). It's not a huge deal, though; Slaughter High is not one you're going to want to watch on your wall-size HDTV anyway.
I simply must mention the soundtrack. The score was done by Harry Manfredini, so there's a nod to Friday the 13th, complete with the distinctive "Ki-ki-ha-ha" sound. I don't know if Manfredini was responsible for the theme song of sorts, a hair-metal/synth-pop hybrid with some nut cackling madly and screaming, "April Fool's Day!", but, if so, I must thank him for the hearty laugh I got out of that one. Even better, it begins and ends the movie, in addition to playing at different points throughout.
Slaughter High is an absolute mess, but it's so bad it's almost good. Those who are entertained by bad movies should definitely get a kick out of it. I enjoyed it because of (not in spite of) its flaws. Die-hard (and I mean die-hard) slasher fans could certainly do worse than this one. It's hard to call Slaughter High "the best" anything, but, to a certain audience, it's entertaining in its ineptness.
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