Monday, August 4, 2014

The Dentist

Following in the grand tradition of casting L.A. Law actors as psychotic medical personnel (see also: Dr. Giggles), The Dentist stars Corbin Bernsen as Dr. Alan Feinstone, a successful dentist with a beautiful wife and a seemingly perfect life.  However, he has to worry about dodging the IRS, and then he discovers his wife having an affair with their tattooed, grungy pool man!  Already obsessed with cleanliness, these latest events push the good doctor over the edge, causing him to spot dirt and decay everywhere he looks. 

He first takes his frustrations out on a dog who got in his way while he was creeping around in backyards and hallucinating.  He makes his way to work, where he imagines that his young patient's teeth are rotted, going bonkers and slashing the boy's gums.  Things only get worse from there for his patients, his staff, and anyone else who crosses his path.

Bernsen gives an absolutely manic performance, prone to screaming fits while spittle trails from his mouth.  He delivers some ridiculous rants, such as "I am an instrument of perfection and hygiene.  The enemy of decay and corruption...  A dentist.  And I have a lot of work to do " and "You don't know what it’s like. The discipline, the long hours, the lack of respect! And a world that goes on ignoring dental hygiene!" 

The supporting cast is largely forgettable, though Mark Ruffalo does pop up as the agent of one of Feinstone's patients.  And Ken Foree does well with his small role as a cop investigating the death of the pooch.  When asked by his partner why Feinstone would want to shoot a dog, Foree's character replies, "Because he's a dentist, and they're capable of anything."

The action moves fairly slowly, with a lot of hallucination sequences showing Feinstone's downward spiral.  Even when it becomes obvious that the dentist is off his rocker, his staff remain quiet, aside from the occasional observation that the patients are "dropping like flies."  The flick is definitely more campy and comical than it is scary, though the torture scenes are definitely unnerving, especially to those who already fear going to the dentist.  Gums are slashed, teeth are drilled away to nothing, and a tongue is cut out, all in closeup.  It's gross stuff.

The Dentist is a total cheesefest, with a low budget, over-the-top acting, ludicrous dialogue, decent effects, sick humor, and gratuitous nudity (Lisa Hoffman bares her breasts numerous times).  In other words, it's exactly what its audience expects.